I hope now you see.

...what this journey is all about.

I hope now you see that during the trials and tribulations of my child's sicknesses that I was in no way intentional in my distance from you. 

I hope now you see that I did need you, I did long for my friend during this time. However, I was too emotionally drained to call out to you. And my duty as his mother was more important to me than my duty to you as a friend. Not that this friendship doesn't me the world to me, but being a mother was also something I dreamed about, much like you. 

Above all, I hope now you see the joys, the heartbreak, the emotionally draining and nerve racking roller coaster that motherhood brings you. 

Something you dream of for so long, you have desires and plans; and in a moment those desires have turned to fears, those dreams change, and those plans are nothing like you have ever imagined. This is life with a "sick" child. This is life as a mom. 

While no two children are the same, no two stories are the same, and no two experiences can ever be compared. None greater or worse than the other in the eyes of a mother. The heart of a mother suffers far greater than those around her. 

I hope now you see how much I really did need you, but how much my baby needed me too...

I just hope now you see how much your friendship means to me, above all. I hope you enjoy this blessing of new life, even when it's hard. I hope you know that I will always understand how different life is now, for you and for our friendship. 

I hope now you see, I do love you.