Well, March came and went. Jacob turned 1 and I am now 25. Our birthdays were wonderful and we are so very grateful for all of those who enjoyed them with us. April was a crazy month, I think I worked more the month of April than I did the other 9 months of the school year. And then there was May.....if you don't already know; grab a seat, some Kleenex and buckle up you are about to encounter the unthinkable.
May was a month of complete and total shock, nightmares, praying, crying, sleepless nights, an unbelievable tragedy. On May 5th I spoke the very last words I would ever speak to the man I once called my husband, was in the final stages of divorcing, and had a child with; not knowing this would be the last conversation we would ever have. On May 6th, I did as I normally did each day and took my munchkin to my mother before heading off to work. As I worked I had no idea that I had lost my best friend and would soon find out. At 11:55am as I brought my students back to class from lunch and got them started on their assignment the school secretary came to my door and told me I had a call in the counselor's office. I knew this had to be pretty important because we usually do NOT get called out of class for a phone call. On the way to the office I was praying that Jacob was okay, I had no idea the news I was about to hear. As I answered the phone the voice on the other end of the line, Aunt Debbie, was not exactly who I expected to hear. The words out of her mouth literately took my breath away. "Ashley, sweetie, this is Aunt Debbie. I need you to sit down. Travis crashed his plane this morning and he is no longer with us." I immediately screamed the loudest scream and repeated over and over "my poor baby". All I could see was my baby boys face and all I could think about was the fact that at 13 months old he just lost his daddy, forever. The next 11 days were a complete nightmare, one of which I will not relive at this moment. When we were finally able to lay our hero to rest, it was beautiful, he would have been proud and I was grateful that I was able to be apart.
Despite the trouble that Travis and I had as a married couple we were still the best of friends. We were determined to give our son everything we could together as parents. Now, I must try to give him everything I can while teaching him about the man he will only remember through stories and pictures.
The end of May and June have been bittersweet months. We had to say goodbye to a man of honor and the father of my son, taken way too soon. As many know, I am pretty strong in faith and I am so very thankful for this at times like these. I knew God had a reason even if I didn't understand it at the beginning. I know that God needed Travis for some reason we are not to question. I never doubted our God but boy, I prayed for a sign. I got a huge sign, one in the form of an amazing human being. I know that may seem crazy to some but it has been the best blessing that Jacob and I could have ever been given. This blessing has a name, Jay Michael Tinsley, I thank God for him daily. I first met Jay at a candlelight vigil held at Travis' high school, Marcus High School, to honor Travis just days before his services.
Jay was introduced through a mutual friend, Kim Zupancic, because he had contacted her about setting up a benefit golf tournament for Jacob in Travis' honor. Jay works at Bridlewood Golf Course in Flower Mound as the assistant superintendent. Kim has been a distant friend (much, much closer friend now) that knew mine and Travis' relationship almost from day one. She has been a shoulder to cry on, lent a listening ear, and a person with unbelievable amounts of love in her heart and willingness to help any time I was in need. She was a great help through this horrible tragedy. As she introduced Jay, I was so very grateful to be meeting the man that was willing to bend over backwards to do something for this girl and her baby he had never even met. He just knew that Travis left behind a baby and wanted to help in anyway he could. I was floating on cloud 9, literately.
A week after things settled down with Travis' services and things were starting to get back to some kind of normal, Jay and I were in touch about the tournament and I was thrilled to be working with such a wonderful person. I had previously made plans to attend the Byron Nelson golf tournament with my aunt before all the chaos and ended up cancelling thinking I wouldn't be up to going. I received a call from Jay saying that he had an extra ticket and wanted to know if I would like to join him so that we could talk to some sponsors for Jacob's tournament. I agreed, thinking nothing more than it would be a great way for me to mingle with some people interested in helping my son. As the day went on, so did the laughs, and the whole dynamic pretty much changed. We hit it off really well and had a blast! After the tournament we grabbed lunch at Jason's Deli where we shared stories and talked about all that had just happened and shared a giant fruit bowl after our lunch. It was a great "first date" ...without us knowing it was a date. We left Jason's Deli, exhausted, drained from the heat and ready for a nap. Jay took me back to my car where I had met him earlier that morning and I was on my way back home, not knowing that today was the start of something I would never forget. From that day on the rest is history....
Jay invited me to a surprise birthday party for one of his mothers friends at Lone Star Park, Memorial Day Weekend. That same weekend we went to Wolf Dance at the Ft. Worth Stockyards. A week later we spent 3 days on Lake Lewisville with an incredible group of friends. We have been pretty much inseparable ever since and I couldn't be happier. I am very, very lucky and have been very very blessed that God put Jay into mine and Jacob's life.
Jay knew Travis from elementary school all the way through high school. He played ball and ran track with him and has many, many stories that he is deteremined to tell Jacob all about. He knows what I just went through and he knows where I want my life to go from here. He has made it very clear that he does not ever want to step into Travis' shoes as Jacobs "father" but if needed he would rock his own pair of shoes and be the father figure that Jacob needs in his life. He treats me like no man has ever treated me before. He puts me and Jacob first, we are the first priority to all other things besides his own family. He genuinely cares about our well being and doing whatever he can to make sure that we have nothing but the best. He is faith driven and comes from the most amazing family I have ever met. I am reminded so much of my own family and the way I was raised. He wants us to do so much together for Jacob and for us. He can make me laugh when everyone else makes me angry. He can make me cry by words of encouragement and peace. He is there for me even in the most awkward times. He knows there are days ahead where I will struggle and he is determined to always be my rock. He melts my heart every time I see him with Jacob. He makes me feel like I am defying gravity all the time. He has made me a promise to be everything he can be for not only me but for Jacob too, and he promised that he would love us both until the day after forever.....I don't see him ever breaking that promise. He is truely one in a million. He has seen me at my worst and has been able to pick me up, dust me off, put me back on feet, fill me with life, breath, love, and happiness all over again. I couldn't ask for a better man to come into mine and Jacob's life and I now know that God really did have a plan.
Just when I thought that the world was going to come crashing down around me, God gave me a gift unlike anything I would have ever imagined at a time like this. I am so very thankful for this gift and I made a promise to God to cherish it until the day after forever. Now I be still in God's grace and watch as he puts this puzzle together with love, laughter and happiness for all the days to come.....I am facing the unthinkable with grace.
"When God throws you a curve ball, don't run to the dugout, knock it out of the park!!"
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