Adoption.

This morning on my way to work, there was a radio segment over adoption. This woman, at the age of 19, had a baby girl she had given up for adoption. Now, 19 years later, on the anniversary of the adoptions, she has been reunited with her daughter. The mother had been the one to initate the search for her daughter, because over the years, she had grown curious as to what her daughter looked like? lived like? etc. The radio station is now granting them the opportunity to spend some quality time together, after 19 years of no communication.

This has been an area of my life most reacently that I have been "dealing" with. My mother had me at the age of 16 with a man that has never had a thing to do with either of us. My mother toughed it out with a baby on her hip, went to work during the day and went to school at night. We were alone in this journery, literatly, but we were together; mommy & me. She overcame some great obstacles, accomplished many great things, and made a life for us the best that she could. Two years of ups and downs, a lot of kool-aid and mac & cheese, and some heart ache later she met my dad. 

To make my life story a little shorter, I'll skip directly to the point here. A few laters later mom and dad married, and few years following that my dad adopted me. He was now my legal guradian, I had his last name, but more than that, he was my dad. My bio-dad signed papers over for me faster than they could come out of the printer. You see, he already had two other children and a wife, no room for another child. His own blood, but sometimes it's for the best. In my situation it was definitely for the better. Thank God.

To me, there is far more to being a father or a mother than just giving birth to a child. It is easy to give birth, it's the challenges of life you go through while raising that child that you have birth to that make you a mother or father. I am not saying by any means that giving your child up for adoption makes you a horrible person, I think that in many cases this is the only option and the best option for both you and the baby. I think there should be more adopting. I would love to adopt a child from a mission trip in the future, how amazing would that be?! I just think that it is only fair to give credit where credit is do. I don't think you are considered a mother or father if you have not gone through the trials and tibulations of parenting with that child. Of, course this is just my personal opinion, so don't shoot the messenger here.

I know someone who gave a baby up for adoption when she was 20. Now, she is struggling with "missing him" and knowing more about him. I also know a couple who adopted a baby at birth, with open adoption, and the bio-mom is apart of their life. I would highly reccomend an open adoption so that you could keep up with the child that you gave birth too, just give the adoptive parents the parental title, after all they are raising this child with thier family name, their family values, and their family beliefs.

I think it is incredible that the lady from the radio segment this morning wanted to find her daughter after all these years. Often times its the childs curiosity that stimulates the need to know who that bio-parent is out there. Which brings me to the part of this that resinates so deep in my heart. As I get older, and as a mother myself, my curiosity is getting the best of me. I have so many questions, and I wonder if just meeting my bio-dad would make things more clear. Not just the questions about why he didn't "want" me in his life, but also the questions about my extended bio-family. Who is out there? What are they like? Are they anything like me? What are my other step-bio-siblings like? Etc.

This is a conflicting debate in my heart. To meet bio-dad or not to meet bio-dad. That is the quesiton. I am so curious but at the same time, I have gone 27 years without him and have done perfectly fine with the dad God gave me. Will this curiosity hurt my dads feelings? I don't want to step on any toes. I just would like to know who this man is, other than a picture in my attic and the man we all refer to as "the donor".

I will continue to be in prayer over this, asking God to guide my heart and point me in the right direction.