Is it time for #2?

I must really like to make 5 year plans.

I have always had this "plan" for my children, when they would be born, what their names would be, how they would be raised, what they would and wouldn't do, etc.

My plan was shot. Redeveloped. And shot down again. And now redeveloped again. Thank you, God.

I am really trying to hard to stick to my guns on one of those plans. But, all these newborns I have been photographing, all these ladies in my CG having babies, and all these babies that I keep seeing everywhere I turn, they are are not helping with my "stick to my guns" plan. And, my husband who is approaching the dirty thirty and has baby fever worse than any female I have ever seen, he's not helping either. And the child that I already have telling me that he needs two babies, a brother & a sister. God love them all.

Here is my redeveloped plan: wait until Jacob is 5 to start trying for another.

Here is my lengthy reasoning:

Jacob is still not suppose to be here, according to my original plan.

My original plan after marrying Travis was for us to wait five years to start a family. Five years would have given us plenty of time to finish college, figure out what we were going to do with ourselves, where we were going to set down our roots and get financially stable, for the most part. A year into marriage I was told by doctors that if I were going to have children I needed to do so now, and that my chances of conceiving were slim to none. Boy were they wrong. First try, and 4 weeks later my body was telling me that something clearly was not right. I was in between houses and moving back to Dallas so I was staying with my friend Amy when she prompted me to quickly take a mere 5 pregnancy tests, all of which were clearly positive. A mere 9 months later this precious baby was given life and I told myself then, when he is 3 I'll have another one. (Side note: Jacob is 3, soon to be 4)

This journey has been very hard. A lot has gone on wrong in our world since Jacob entered. A lot of changes have been made. Some, we were forced to make. When Jacob was 13 months old we lost Travis, there crushing my thoughts of possibly ever having another baby close in age.  My plans were shot, but I was so grateful that my original plan was altered, or Jacob would have never been here. How amazing is our God.

Then came Jay, and a new plan surfaced. When we got married, immediately people wanted to know when we would have a baby (why do people assume that as soon as you get married a baby must come quickly, NO!). We had discussed multiple times how I really wanted to give Jacob some time before another baby was brought into his world.

I wanted him to have a few solid years of stability. The last 2 years, since we built the house, have been the only true stable years for him. The first year and half of his life was so chaotic. He will start sports in January and I want him and Jay to have a year to bond over being coach & son before either of them, or me, has to worry about mom chasing baby brother/sister around the sidelines. I want to be team mom to one child without a baby on my hip for the first year he is really playing team sports. I also wanted Jacob to start Kindergarten (or be in school) so that once another child comes I will have time to give that child one-on-one attention while Jacob is at school, and I wouldn't be paying another mortgage payment for daycare.

Jacob is 5 months from being 4, 3 months from starting his first season in team sports, and a whole year and 9 moths from starting Kindergarten.

My 5 year plan has just about worked this time, I just have roughly another year before I really want to start trying. Although, discussions have been had about removing the device blocking such babies to come and just letting God control when the next baby would come or even to start trying next summer. However, I went to the doctor last week and he gave me a fair warning to make sure I was ready for the next one, it won't take long for them to be in the making!

So, unless God has a plan, which I know He does, that is different from mine, Tinsley baby will not be in the making for at least another year, or until I cave into the baby fever of my husband, my child "needing 2 babies", or all these new babies that I keep seeing change my mind.

God will let me know when it is really time for another baby, for now, I will enjoy the first gift He gave me and be thankful that my original plan was not His plan!